Hilarious Matrimonial Profiles =))

This is Ultimate.................I bet u can't stop laughing.

These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart :P

Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this...

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Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore ... if u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter.. Thanks
yours Regards Sowmya

~*~(Truly yours)

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i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

(Wat Homework?)

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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ..........hold my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

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i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...:)

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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY
THEY ARE

1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.

2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION

3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing {laughing})

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whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)

Infact she doesn't know wat she wants ?.. ? A LAMP??

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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome")

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iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married'completely'?)

( Confused ????? )

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my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! J )

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iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.
(No comments)

( Plz ? for gods sake ask someone to help u in framing sentence )

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hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ...
(but credit cards not accepted..???)

(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit s??????? Is there anything like that.)

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I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.
(Zebra..???)
(Gosh!!!!!!!! she knows her heart color.)

A True Golfer...!!!

One day a man decided to retire... he booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts and other tropical fruits.

After about four months of lying on the beach one day the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"She replied, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank.""Amazing," he noted. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you. "Oh, this thing?" explained the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, the sides
from casurina and stern came from a eucalyptus tree.""But, where did you get the tools?"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron I used that to make tools and used the tools
to make the hardware."

Its similar to the Mi
The guy was stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she said.

So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked to shore, he nearly fell off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please." "Would you like a drink?" "No! No thank you," the man blurted out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," winked the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada? "Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they exchanged their individual survival stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer questioning anything, the man went upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet was a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he mused. "What's next?"

When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned while she smelled faintly of gardenias.

She then beckoned for him to sit down next to her."Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've
both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. There's something I'm certain you feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for, right?" She stared into his eyes.He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You mean..." he swallowed excitedly as tears started to form in his eyes, "You've even built a Golf Course ..... !!"