Abortion in the ears.....

This is a short story written by a doctor ....he is a gynecologist in
Pune and a very gifted writer....enjoy this extremely funny story.

My wife is an ENT Surgeon while I am a Gynaecologist. This can lead to
some complications, as I recently learned to my anguish. A General
Practitioner called me up and told me that she is sending a patient of
hers for an abortion. Unknown to me, she had also referred a female
with earwax for removal of the wax to my wife.

I duly informed the receptionist to send the patient right in as she
was expected (and expecting!) As Murphy lays down the laws of our
hospital, it was but natural that the patient who wanted the wax
removed from her ear, landed up with me. This is the conversation that
I had with the patient.

"Please come in. Be seated." I said with a big smile. I always have a
big smile, when I am going to earn some money. The patient gave a
feeble smile and sat hesitantly on the edge of the chair. "Relax."

"Doctor, will this hurt a lot?"

"Not at all."

The patient relaxed visibly. "You know something, Doctor, we tried
removing it at home, but failed."

I was shocked. "Thank God. Trying this at home can cause serious complications.

"I first tried to remove it by jumping up and down, but it just wouldn't budge."

I smiled and said, "If it were that easy, who would need doctors?"

She gave a cute smile and said, "Yeah! My neighbour tried to remove it
with his finger, but the hole is so small that he used a hair pin."

"Oh my God!"

"Yes! My mother even tried a matchstick."

My blood pressure was shooting skywards. I just sputtered without
uttering a word.

"Tell me, doctor, how do I avoid getting this dirt inside me?"

I knew that it was an unwanted pregnancy, but calling it dirt was too
much. I replied a bit angrily, "There are tablets which can prevent
this happening. Or you could use protection at night."

Now it was the patient's turn to be confused, "You mean to say that it
happens only at night?"

I saw her point. "No! No! I meant anytime of the day, whenever you are
in the mood, you should use protection."

She was even more confused, "It depends on my moods?"

Again I saw her point. "My mistake. You need not be in any sort of
mood. It just happens."

"My neighbour advised me to go to one of those chaps who sit by the roadside."

"You mean that pin man?"

"Yeah!"

This neighbour of hers seemed to be a very dangerous man. Besides
using pins, he was sending her to such quacks. The only safety he knew
was among the pins. "You were wise not to heed his advice."

"But I tried his other advice. He told me to put warm oil inside and
wait. However, that also did not work."

This was getting more and more bizarre. Her neighbor deserved to be
locked up either in a padded cell or a barred one.

"But have you taken your husband's permission?"

Now the patient looked confused. "Do I have to take my husband's
permission? Because if you need his sign, he is working in Dubai. We
were not able to meet for the last one year."

It was my turn to be shocked. I gave a sly smirk. It was one of
'those' cases. The pin-wielding neighbour seemed to me the usual
suspect. I reassured her. "No! No! The husband's sign is not at all
needed."

"However, I did inform him on phone."

Her husband seemed to me a very broad-minded fellow. I didn't know
whether to congratulate her or to commiserate with her. So I hastily
turned to other aspects. "Its good that you came a bit early."

"Actually I wanted to come early in the morning, but I had some other work."

"Oh! I did not mean early today. I meant that if you had delayed this
removal, it would have started moving. Then it would have developed a
heartbeat."

The patient was staring at me wide eyed as if watching a horror movie.
Looking at her face, I decided that she was not fit to listen to the
grotesque details. I decided to relieve her a bit. I said, "You will
bleed a bit, but only for a few days."

By now, the poor patient was trembling, "how-H-How much bleeding?"
"Oh, only slightly more than your menstrual period, and it will
continue only for a week or so."

By now the patient was clutching her hair in her fingers and staring
at me wide-eyed. I asked her soothingly, "Why don't you lie down on
the examination table? Remove your clothes and relax."

This was the final straw. She didn't even wish me goodbye. I saw just
a blur of motion leaving my consulting room at top speed.

Keep It Simple And You’ll Be Happy

How many gadgets modern technology has blessed us with! Yet, they only seem to add to the stress and tension of our lives. I have seen young men and women walk down parks and green lanes with earphones completely shutting out the world of beauty around them.

Keep it simple! That is the mantra which can help you reduce stress and tension. Possessions and acquisitions may seem marvellous. But after a while, you do not own them, they own you.

A Tao story tells us of an artist who was so gifted that his fame spread all over. One day, he painted the picture of a snake. It was so lifelike that viewers seemed to hear it hiss!

The artist was so carried away by his own success and the adulation of his fans that he touched up the snake. He made its eyes glow; he outlined the fangs so that they seemed to dart at you! He could not stop; he went on and painted feet on the snake!

The expression, “Painting feet on a snake”, a Chinese saying, refers to situations that are needlessly made more complicated by people who do not know when and where to stop.

When our life becomes complicated with power and possessions, we move farther and farther away from the simple joys and pleasures of life. We fail to notice the green grass and the fresh morning flowers.

We don’t have time to hear birds singing or watch our little ones smiling. We drift away from the state of childlike innocence and simple joy, which is our basic nature.

Simplicity is not self-denial. It is a return to those values that matter most in life. It emphasises spontaneity and intuition. It helps us to rediscover the feeling of wonder and joy that we have lost as adults.

There was a wealthy businessman, who was also a sincere, simple soul. He owned an expensive jet in which he flew about from place to place. They asked him if he enjoyed his private plane. His reply was significant. He said it was certainly very convenient; but he had managed to travel without his own plane earlier; in fact, when he was young and poor, the fact that he couldn’t fly did not stop him from being happy.

A famous actress was being interviewed on television. She had made a fortune that year, over a billion dollars. “Does it make you feel good?” she was asked. “Yes and no,” she replied thoughtfully. “Everyone thinks it’s marvellous. So many people flock around me. But i really do not know who my true friends are and who are with me only for the money and the glamour. As for my daily life, it has not changed much, except that i work harder now.”

A group of young men and women were walking across a shopping mall. They were happy and relaxed; they were talking and laughing merrily. Not a care in the world did they seem to have.

There was a young girl among them, who happened to glance at the window of a jewellery store which they passed. On display was a beautiful, brilliant diamond bracelet. How it sparkled and shone! The girl’s eyes opened wide. She went close to the window to inspect the price. She could not afford it.

She caught up with her friends but she was not the happy, laughing, bubbly girl that she had been five minutes earlier. Her cheerful, buoyant attitude had been replaced by a mood of glum disappointment.

This is the worst part about wanting things. Getting them may give you momentary happiness. But not being able to get them often makes you miserable!!!

Even when we try, We know we will never map the distance..

We hope we can fight.... And show worthwhile resistance..

Against all the shadows, Tear them, part them... For the promised sunrise..

But for our part, At least mine....

Even if a glowing sunset will just kiss my parched face... I might not have too many words to say... :|

But a gleam of satisfaction burning... on not failing and retuning

Back into the shadows.. Lighting up in my eyes;

In the face of providence’s devise... I stand, not vanquished

Not all will get the promised dawn... Some succour in a beautiful sunset too

With some destinies come attached.. The wills of the Gods spun in their bloom

Hardly any regrets.......

Let me melt in my sunset.....

Consciousness Is All There Is

What is consciousness?
Consciousness is the One without the second. It is the source of everything. The ‘who, what, where, when’ are all conceptual images in consciousness. They are all as real as any mirage or dream.

The totality of manifestation, and everything therein, is consciousness, the Unicity. All there is, is consciousness, unaware of itself in its noumenal subjectivity, but perceived by itself as phenomenal manifestation in its objective expression. If this is understood in depth, there is nothing more to be understood because such understanding must comport the realisation that there is no individual entity as insubstantial shadow, whereas what we really and truly are, is consciousness itself, the formless Brahmn.

All that exists is universal consciousness. The universe as such is not the universal consciousness, but consciousness is the universe just as the bracelet is made of gold but the gold is not made of the bracelet. Whether the manifested universe exists or not, consciousness is there as the subjective Absolute...

The appearance of the universe exists in infinite consciousness, just as the notion of distance or emptiness exists in space... Consciousness creates the illusion of the world appearance and the ego-sense, and perceives the illusion of diversity in what is truly pure Unicity...

How can the universe exist in infinite consciousness that is supposed to be transcendental?
Truly there is nothing other than consciousness, and therefore consciousness cannot but be immanent in everything that appears to exist. And yet no phenomenal manifestation can have any kind of relationship with consciousness because a relationship can exist only between two different entities. It is in this sense that consciousness is transcendental to the manifested universe.

What appears within consciousness as its own reflection — the manifestation of the universe — is not separate or different from consciousness. While the shadow, by itself, has no existence and is therefore unreal, the shadow is not different from the substance when seen together. When there is no mind in operation, when there is no conceptualising, it is clearly known, felt and experienced, that phenomenality is only the objective expression of the subjective noumenon...

God is that formless subjectivity, pure potential, the infinite, universal consciousness, Brahmn, which alone exists even after the cosmic dissolution. It is only within this pure, infinite consciousness, the potential plenum, that phenomenal manifestation arose as a mere reflection of that potentiality, as a mere objective expression of that pure subjectivity. The phenomenal objectivisation of this pure subjectivity appears and functions in our outer world of consciousness in the waking state, precisely like sentient and insentient objects seem to exist and function in the inner world of consciousness in the dream state. Nothing really happens.

The final truth is that there is neither creation nor destruction, neither birth nor death, neither destiny nor free will, neither any path nor any achievement... So there is no reason to be aware of anything. So consciousness-at-rest is not aware of itself. It becomes aware of itself only when this sudden feeling, ‘I Am’, arises. I Am is the impersonal sense of being aware. And that is when consciousness-at-rest becomes consciousness-in-movement, when potential energy becomes actual energy. They are not two. Nothing separate comes out of the potential energy.

Travel Light To Enjoy The Journey Of Life

I often wonder: Is it possible to love without attachment? We do have so much love to give, but is it the right kind of love? We tend to feel a kind of ownership over all that we love though we don’t own anything or anyone.

It is easier to utter the words ‘I love you’ than to actually mean it. Love is perceived in many different ways. Moma always said that: “Love, but never be possessive of what you love. Once you are possessive, you might claim ‘this is mine’ when in actuality nothing or no one is yours.”

We are all here on a spiritual journey. Along the way we find several co-travellers who become part of our lives but they too have their own destination. There is a hierarchy of love. Right on top are parents, spouse, children, siblings, other family and friends. Love stops here and further down the ladder it becomes ‘like’. They say, love all as if your own. They talk of universal love. This is not easy to follow but maybe we could try. For starters, we could do little things that make people smile. A kind word or tone would not take away from you but give a lot to the other person.

They say : “If you want peace and if you want happiness you must live in love. Only through love will you find inner peace. Only through love will you find true happiness. Love flourishes through giving and forgiving. Develop your love! Immerse yourself in love!

“...Love is the basis of everything. It is the single most important quality that has to be developed. All your thoughts must become immersed in this quality of love... then truth will naturally establish itself in your heart.”

People who serve are Godlike; their service should be appreciated, whether they belong to your peer group or not. We need to learn to love without attachment. We love those who we feel are ours. What about the rest? Why is an amazing emotion like love saved only for those few people who we perceive as ours? For instance, how might one learn to love the person who has wronged us? I guess i would say OK, don’t love, but at least try not to hate. That is an improvement.

Again, received wisdom from my moma said things can never bring you happiness. Once you’ve bought something, its value diminishes. At first i used to think that was not true, but in time i learnt that it is one of the few truths in life. I constantly try and make an effort to not get attached to ‘things’ now because at the end of the day they are things. This doesn’t mean don’t shop, don’t want... it means realise that actual happiness cannot be attained from anything external.

Enjoy all the things you have and be grateful for it, as that too is the grace of God but do not expect it to give you anything. I find my peace every evening as i sit by myself and watch the sun set. That is when i feel real joy. The sun sets with such ease and that is how we should be.

I would get attached to songs and smells! Some smells can take you back in time and songs too can transport you to old memories. It is nice to remember but if we dwell on the past we are missing out on the present; we tend to miss out on new smells and songs as we’re so preoccupied with the old. We have to let go, because holding on to something does not give us ownership rights. So much baggage! To enjoy the journey, travel light. In other words, practise loving detachment.

It Is Difficult To Stay In The Middle

The most difficult thing, the almost impossible thing for the mind, is to remain in the middle, to remain balanced. And to move from one thing to its opposite is the easiest. To move from one polarity to another is the nature of the mind.

If you are balanced, mind disappears. Mind is like a disease: when you are imbalanced it is there, when you are balanced, it is not there. That is why it is easy for a person who overeats to go on a fast. It looks illogical, because we think that a person who is obsessed with food cannot go on a fast.

But you are wrong. Only a person who is obsessed with food can fast, because fasting is the same obsession in the opposite direction. You are not really changing yourself. You are still obsessed with food. Before you were overeating; now you are hungry — but the mind remains focused on food from the opposite extreme.

A man who has been overindulging in sex can become a celibate very easily. There is no problem. But it is difficult for the mind to come to the right diet, difficult for the mind to stay in the middle. It is just like a clock’s pendulum. The pendulum goes to the right, then it moves to the left, then again to the right, and again to the left; the clock’s working depends on this movement.

If the pendulum stays in the middle, the clock stops. And when the pendulum moves to the right, you think it is only going to the right, but at the same time it is gathering momentum to go to the left. The more it moves to the right, the more energy it gathers to move to the left, and vice versa.

Thinking means momentum. The mind starts arranging for the opposite. When you love a person you are gathering momentum to hate him. That’s why only friends can become enemies. You cannot suddenly become an enemy unless you have first become a friend Only lovers can quarrel and fight, because unless you love how can you hate? Unless you have moved far to the extreme left, how can you move to the right?

Modern research says that so-called love is a relationship of intimate enmity. Your wife is your intimate enemy, your husband is your intimate enemy — both intimate and inimical They appear opposites illogical, because we wonder how one who is intimate can be the enemy; one who is a friend, how can he also be the foe?

Logic is superficial life goes deeper, and in life all opposites are joined together, they exist together. Remember this because then meditation becomes balancing.

Buddha taught eight disci plines, and with each discipline he used the word right. He said Right effort, because it is very easy to move from action to inaction, from waking to sleep but to remain in the middle is difficult.

When Buddha used the word right he was saying: Don’t move to the opposite, just stay in the middle. Right food — he never said to fast. Don’t indulge in too much eating and don’t indulge in fasting. He said: Right food Right food means standing in the middle.

When you are standing in the middle you are not gathering any momentum. And this is the beauty of it — a man who is not gathering any momentum to move anywhere, can be at ease with himself, can be at home.

Pearls

Jenny was a bright-eyed, pretty five-year-old girl.

One day when she and her mother were checking out at the grocery store, Jenny saw a plastic pearl necklace priced at $2.50. How she wanted that necklace and when she asked her mother if she would buy it for her, her mother said, "Well, it is a pretty necklace, but it costs an awful lot of money. I'll tell you what. I'll buy you the necklace, and when we get home we can make up a list of chores that you can do to pay for the necklace. And don't forget that for your birthday Grandma just might give you a whole dollar bill, too. Okay?"


Jenny agreed, and her mother bought the pearl necklace for her. Jenny worked on her chores very hard every day, and sure enough, her Grandma gave her a brand new dollar bill for her birthday. Soon Jenny had paid off the pearls.

How Jenny loved those pearls. She wore them everywhere to kindergarten, bed, and when she went out with her mother to run errands. The only time she didn't wear them was in the shower - her mother had told her that they would turn her neck green. Now Jenny had a very loving daddy. When Jenny went to bed, he would get up from his favorite chair every night and read Jenny her favorite story. One night when he finished the story, he said, "Jenny, do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you," the little girl said.

"Well, then, give me your pearls."

"Oh! Daddy, not my pearls!" Jenny said. "But you can have Rosie, my favorite doll. Remember her? You gave her to me last year for my birthday. And you can have her tea party outfit, too. Okay?"

"Oh no, darling, that's okay." Her father brushed her cheek with a kiss. "Good night, little one."

A week later, her father once again asked Jenny after her story, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you."

"Well, then, give me your pearls."

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls! But you can have Ribbons, my toy horse. Do you remember her? She's my favorite. Her hair is so soft, and you can play with it and braid it and everything. You can have Ribbons if you want her, Daddy," the little girl said to her father.

"No, that's okay," her father said and brushed her cheek again with a kiss. "God bless you, little one. Sweet dreams."

Several days later, when Jenny's father came in to read her a story, Jenny was sitting on her bed and her lip was trembling. "Here, Daddy," she said, and held out her hand. She opened it and her beloved pearl necklace was inside. She let it slip into her father's hand. With one hand her father held the plastic pearls and with the other he pulled out of his pocket a blue velvet box.

Inside of the box were real, genuine, beautiful pearls.

He had them all along. He was waiting for Jenny to give up the cheap stuff so he could give her the real thing. So it is with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasure. Isn't God good?

Are you holding onto things which God wants you to let go of?

Are you holding onto harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships, habits and activities which you have become so attached to that it seems impossible to let go?

Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand but do believe this one thing.................

God will never take away something without giving you something better in its place.

Faith And Patience

Faith and Patience, these two virtues are complementary. Each is both, the cause as well as the effect of the other; and both are the means as well as the end of the other. Between them they contain a complete code of conduct for life.

Shraddha is devotion. It is faith that helps one accept all happenings — the good and bad — with equanimity. Faith is what makes a disciple trust his guru and a child, its parent. Saburi or patience is not just the ability to overcome the urge for instant gratification. Patience is not the art of ad hoc management of mental restlessness. Patience is the intuition that inspires you to just be and wait for the will of God to unfold and work itself out. Patience helps you to live uncomplainingly, and so you are able to accept without anger what you know cannot be changed.

Patience is what enables a tree to let all its leaves fall without demur. The tree stands denuded, without a sense of shame, despondency or heartbreak. It stands as comfortably as ever. It lets the sun, the air, the rain and the season to work their magic. They denude it; they later laden it. The tree surrenders to them, not out of helplessness but out of natural design.

When the season turns, tender new leaves dress it with flowers and fruits in due course. Patience is not to stoically brave winter in the hope of spring; rather, it is to accept spring and winter alike. It is to surrender with a joyous heart to the will of God as represented by the current moment and condition.

Faith is the insight that tells you that patience and surrender to the will of God is the best course your life can take. Wisdom is in understanding and valuing both faith and patience. Patience is born of faith and in due course it serves to strengthen faith.

If patience and faith are so intricately woven, why did the sage emphasise these as two virtues? Why did he not advocate either this one or that? If faith is exclusively emphasised, it can promote blind belief. On the other hand, if patience is singularly emphasised, it can lead to the shirking of responsibility and indolence.

Patience without faith can become sloth. Faith minus patience can turn banal. Either way, the result will be counterproductive. In tandem, the two virtues uplift. If both patience and faith are required, which among these comes first? Where does one begin?

Asking which came first, patience or faith, is very similar to asking which came first, the egg or the chicken? It perhaps depends on an individual’s spiritual configuration as to which path suits his psyche best: faith or patience. Whichever route one may begin with, the two paths keep twinning and finally the two converge towards a common goal.

Does patience of the tree-type not kill enterprise? Surely not! Otherwise the tree would never grow and bring forth its wonderful flowers and fruits! Yet, yes: patience and faith, as they mature and begin to lodge in one’s mind, kill such enterprise as is inspired by sheer greed for material gain, unrelated to honest need.

Greed is contra life and nature. Is there any religion anywhere in the world that has upheld greedy enterprise and glorified it? No tree competes with its neighbour to double its output just to outperform the other. The supreme enterprise in life is self-realisation. Patience and faith proactively support this enterprise.

The Last Leaf - by O'Henry

Here goes one of my favourite short stories written by O'Henry..

In a little district west of Washington Square the streets have run crazy and broken themselves into small strips called "places." These "places" make strange angles and curves. One street crosses itself a time or two. An artist once discovered a valuable possibility in this street. Suppose a collector with a bill for paints, paper and canvas should, in traversing this route, suddenly meet himself coming back, without a cent having been paid on account!

So, to quaint old Greenwich Village the art people soon came prowling, hunting for north windows and eighteenth-century gables and Dutch attics and low rents. Then they imported some pewter mugs and a chafing dish or two from Sixth Avenue, and became a "colony."

At the top of a squatty, three story brick Sue and Johnsy had their studio. "Johnsy" was familiar for Joanna. One was from Maine; the other from California. They had met at the table d'hote of an Eighth Street "Delmonico's," and found their tastes in art, chicory salad and bishop sleeves so congenial that the studio resulted.

That was in May. In November a cold, unseen stranger, whom the doctors called Pneumonia, stalked about the colony, touching one here and there with his icy fingers. Over on the east side this ravager strode boldly, smiting his victims by scores, but his feet trod slowly through the maze of the narrow and moss-grown "places."

Mr. Pneumonia was not what you would call a chivalric old gentleman. A mite of a little woman with blood thinned by California zephyrs was hardly fair game for the red-fisted, short breathed old duffer. But Johnsy he smote; and she lay scarcely moving, on her painted iron bedstead, looking through the small Dutch window-panes at the blank side of the next brick house.

One morning the busy doctor invited Sue into the hallway with a shaggy, gray eyebrow.

"She has one chance in-let us say, ten," he said, as he shook down the mercury in his clinical thermometer. "And that chance is for her to want to live. This way people have of lining-up on the side of the undertaker makes the entire pharmacopoeia look silly. Your little lady has made up her mind that she's not going to get well. Has she anything on her mind?"

"She-she wanted to paint the Bay of Naples some day," said Sue.

"Paint?-bosh! Has she anything on her mind worth thinking about twice-a man, for instance?"

"A man?" said Sue, with a jew's- harp twang in her voice. "Is a man worth-but, no, doctor; there is nothing of the kind."

"Well, it is the weakness, then," said the doctor. "I will do all that science, so far as it may filter through my efforts, can accomplish. But whenever my patient begins to count the carriages in her funeral procession I subtract 50 per cent. from the curative power of medicines. If you will get her to ask one question about the new winter styles in cloak sleeves I will promise you a one-in-five chance for her, instead of ten."

After the doctor had gone Sue went into the workroom and cried a Japanese napkin to a pulp. Then she swaggered into Johnsy's room with her drawing board, whistling ragtime.

Johnsy, lay, scarcely making a ripple under the bedclothes, with her face toward the window. Sue stopped whistling, thinking she was asleep.

She arranged her board and began a pen and ink drawing to illustrate a magazine story. Young artists must pave their way to Art by drawing pictures for magazine stories that young authors write to pave their way to literature.

As Sue was sketching a pair of elegant horseshow riding trousers a monocle on the figure of the hero, an Idaho cowboy, she heard a low sound, several times repeated. She went quickly to the bedside.

Johnsy's eyes were open wide. She was looking out the window and counting-counting backward.

"Twelve," she said, and a little later "eleven"; and then "ten," and "nine"; and then "eight" and "seven," almost together.

Sue looked solicitously out the window. What was there to count? There was only a bare, dreary yard to be seen, and the blank side of the brick house twenty feet away. An old, old ivy vine, gnarled and decayed at the roots, climbed half way up the brick wall. The cold breath of autumn had stricken its leaves from the vine until its skeleton branches clung, almost bare, to the crumbling bricks.

"What is it, dear? Tell you Sudie."

"Leaves. On the ivy vine. When the last one falls I must go, too. I've known that for three days. Didn't the doctor tell you?"

"Oh, I never heard of such nonsense," complained Sue, with magnificent scorn. "What have old ivy leaves to do with your getting well? And you used to love that vine, so, you naughty girl. Don't be a goosey. Why, the doctor told me this morning that your chances for getting well real soon were-let's see exactly what he said-he said the chances were ten to one! Why that's almost as good a chance as we have in New York when we ride on the street cars or walk past a new building. Try to take some broth now, and let Sudie go back to her drawing, so she can sell the editor man with it, and buy port wine for her sick child, and pork chops for her greedy self."

"You needn't get any more wine," said Johnsy, keeping her eyes fixed on the window. "There goes another. No, I don't want any broth. That leaves just four. I want to see the last one fall before it gets dark. Then I'll go too."

"Johnsy, dear," said Sue, bending over her, "will you promise me to keep your eyes closed, and not look out the window until I am done working? I must hand those drawings in by to-morrow. I need the light, or I could draw the shade down."

"Couldn't you draw in the other room?" asked Johnsy, coldly.

"I'd rather be here by you," said Sue. "Besides, I don't want you to keep looking at those silly ivy leaves."

"Tell me as soon as you have finished," said Johnsy, closing her eyes, and lying white and still as a fallen statue, "because I want to see the last one fall. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of thinking. I want to turn loose my hold on everything, and go sailing down, down, just like one of those poor, tired leaves."

"Try to sleep," said Sue. "I must call Behrman up to be my model for the old hermit miner. I'll not be gone a minute. Don't try to move 'til I come back."

Old Behrman was a painter who lived on the ground floor beneath them. He was past sixty and had a Michael Angelo's Moses beard curling down from the head of a satyr along the body of an imp. Behrman was a failure in art. Forty years he had wielded the brush without getting near enough to touch the hem of his Mistress's robe. He had been always about to paint a masterpiece, but had never yet begun it. For several years he had painted nothing except now and then a daub in the line of commerce or advertising. He earned a little by serving as a model to those young artists in the colony who could not pay the price of a professional. He drank gin to excess, and still talked of his coming masterpiece. For the rest he was a fierce little old man, who scoffed terribly at the softness in any one, and who regarded himself as especial mastiff-in-waiting to protect the two young artists in the studio above.

Sue found Behrman smelling strongly of juniper berries in his dimly lighted den below. In one corner was a blank canvas on an easel that had been waiting there for twenty-five years to receive the first line of the masterpiece. She told him of Johnsy's fancy, and how she feared she would, indeed light and fragile as a leaf herself, float away, when her slight hold upon the world grew weaker.

Old Behrman, with his red eyes plainly streaming, shouted his contempt and derision for such idiotic imaginings.

"Vass!" he cried. "Is dere people in de world mit der foolishness to die because leafs dey drop off from a confounded vine? I haf not heard of such a thing. No, I will not bose as a model for you fool hermit-dunder-head. Vy do you allow dot silly pushiness to come in der brain of her? Ach, dot poor lettle Miss Yohnsy."

"She is very ill and weak," said Sue, "and the fever has left her mind morbid and full of strange fancies. Very well, Mr. Behrman, if you do not care to pose for me, you needn't. But I think you are a horrid old-old flibbertigibbet."

"You are just like a woman!" yelled Behrman. "Who said I will not bose? Go on. I come mit you. For half and hour I haf peen trying to say dot I am ready to bose. Gott! dis is not any blace in which one so gooot as Miss Yohnsy shall lie sick. Some day I vill baint a masterpiece, and ve shall all go away. Gott! yes."

Johnsy was sleeping when they went upstairs. She pulled the shade down to the window-sill, and motioned Behrman into the other room. In there they peered out the window fearfully at the ivy vine. Then they looked at each other for a moment with out speaking. A persistent, cold rain was falling, mingled with snow. Behrman, in his old blue shirt, took his seat as the hermit miner on an upturned kettle for a rock.

When Sue awoke from and hour's sleep the next morning she found Johnsy with dull, wide-open eyes staring at the drawn green shade.

"Pull it up; I want to see," she ordered, in a whisper.

Wearily Sue obeyed.

But Loa! After the beating rain and fierce gusts of wind that had endured through the livelong night, there yet stood out against the brick wall one ivy leaf. It was the last on the vine. Still dark green near its stem, but with its serrated edges tinted with the yellow of dissolution and decay, it hung bravely from a branch some twenty feet above the ground.

"It is the last one," said Johnsy. "I thought it would surely fall during the night. I heard the wind. It will fall to-day, and I shall die at the same time."

"Dear, dear!" said Sue, leaning her worn face down to the pillow, "think of me, if you won't think of yourself. What would I do?"

But Johnsy did not answer. The lonesome thing in all the world is a soul when it is making ready to go on its mysterious, far journey. The fancy seemed to posses her more strongly as one by one the ties that bound her to friendship and to earth were loosed.

The day wore away, and even though the twilight they could see the lone ivy leaf clinging to its stem against the wall. And then, with the coming of the night the north wind was again down from the low Dutch eaves.

When it was light enough Johnsy, the merciless, commanded that the shade be raised.

The ivy leaf was still there.

Johnsy lay for a long time looking at it. And then she called to Sue, who was stirring her chicken broth over the gas stove.

"I've been a bad girl, Sudie," said Johnsy. "Something has made that last leaf stay there to show me how wicked I was. It is a sin to want to die. You may bring me a little broth now, and some milk with a little port in it, and-no; bring me a hand-mirror first, and then pack some pillows about me, and I will sit up and watch you cook."

An hour later she said:

"Sudie, some day I hope to paint the Bay of Naples."

The doctor came in the afternoon, and Sue had an excuse to go into the hallway as he left.

"Even chances," said the doctor, taking Sue's thin shaking hand in his. "With good nursing you'll win. And now I must see another case I have downstairs. Behrman, his name is-some kind of artist, I believe. Pneumonia, too. He is old, weak man, and the attack is acute. There is no hope for him; but he goes to the hospital today to be made more comfortable."

The next day the doctor said to Sue: "She's out of danger. You've won. Nutrition and care now-that's all."

And that afternoon Sue came to the bed where Johnsy lay, contentedly knitting a very blue and very useless woollen shoulder scarf, and put one arm around her, pillows and all.

"I have something to tell you, white mouse," she said. "Mr. Behrman died of pneumonia today in the hospital. He was ill only two days. The janitor found him on the morning of the first day in his room downstairs helpless with pain. His shoes and clothing were wet through and icy cold. They couldn't imagine where he had been on such a dreadful night. And then they found a lantern, still lighted, and a ladder that had been dragged from its place, and some scattered brushes, and a palette with green and yellow colors mixed on it, and-look out the window, dear, at the last ivy leaf on the wall. Didn't you wonder why it never fluttered or moved when the wind blew? Ah, darling, it's Behrman's masterpiece-he painted it there the night the last leaf fell."

Path to self-awareness

Knowing what is right and what is wrong in your own inner consciousness is insufficient. It is not the knowing of truth that transforms a person; it is the doing of truth that has an impact on you and on the other people that you interact with. You may know that it is inappropriate to think selfishly and look out for your own best interests first, but your inner emotions may drive you to be blinded to the needs of others.

You may know that it is against your basic truth to judge another individual, but your inner emotions may cause you to look at that person and make a judgment because of the effect you are allowing them to have on your life.You may understand that all of God’s creatures were created equal, but that doesn't stop you, on an emotional level, from feeling that the human race is the most important life form on the planet.

The discrepancy lies not in a lack of information, for the information is available on a world-wide basis for those who would seek it, evaluate it, and accept it as their own; the discrepancy lies in the ability to integrate Universal Law into your lifestyle. Awareness of the self does not just focus into the positive aspects of a personality, or the positive aspects of skills and talents that you brought with you into this lifetime, but into the negative as well; it is only when the positive is weighed against the negative, and the balanced perspective is used as a guidepost in integrating higher consciousness into the self that the influence becomes apparent in your relationships and in your lifestyle.

Self-actualisation can be translated to mean, making the self actual. It means there is no difference between what you think and what you do. There is no contradiction between what you tell others and how you respond yourself. It is manifesting who you are and what you believe in on a dayto-day, consistent basis. The path is a long and solitary one, and many individuals give up. It is difficult to accept what our conscious choices in the course of a specific existence have driven us to do to other people. It is hard for us to accept that we have been selfish, or resentful, or spiteful. It is hard for us to see where we have deliberately manipulated our lives so that we have control over the people and the situations and the events within it.

It is not easy to admit that we are not the positive, smiling, loving person that we prefer to see ourselves as; when, in the course of personal growth, it becomes necessary for an individual to truly, honestly evaluate how they have interacted with their fellow human beings, the drop-out rate skyrockets.

This is unfortunate, because personal growth cannot proceed — self-awareness and self-actualisation cannot be accomplished — without a true and open acknowledgement of who we used to be and how we used to live our lives, no matter how unpleasant that panorama may be. This does not mean that we need to spend years of our lives suffering regret and remorse for the wrong we have done in their lives to other people. It does mean that we need to take a reasonable amount of time to look back and to evaluate honestly what was really at play in any particular situation, where the two parties were really coming from, and where each conducted themselves with less than universal love.

We cannot change the past; we cannot undo the influence that we have upon other people by our thoughts and our feelings and our reactions, but we can learn from that experience and make a personal commitment never to treat anyone with that lack of respect again. If that person is still in our life, we can have the grace to apologise, and share our learning experience, and say, “I’m sorry that i used to be like that. I want to be like this, now, and i hope that you will help.”

It is only by acknowledging our past weaknesses, and sharing our future aspirations, that we can experience the support and encouragement of others on our journey to self-actualisation. If we are not willing to admit that we have ever made a mistake, ever reacted inappropriately, ever deliberately hurt someone, then we cannot admit that we need to change, or that we need other people’s help in doing so. It is, from a soul evolution perspective, selfdefeating behaviour to remain in situations made from the lower consciousness that create less than fulfiling situations and relationships in our lives.

The most difficult thing to do is to live in peace and harmony with people. It is, perhaps, easier to live with birds and animals. Why is living with people a problem?

We know that fire is hot and we accept that fact. If we are burnt by touching fire, we do not blame it. If a whole house is burnt down, we may condemn other factors or blame our negligence, but would accept fire as it is. Its place is undeniable and it is not rejected. Similarly, we accept the coolness of ice, the beauty of flowers, fruits, trees and plants. Again, if we are admiring a beautiful, full moon and someone else comes and starts appreciating it, we don’t say, “Why are you looking at my moon? You have no right to see it!” There is no sense of ownership, no possessiveness; there is acceptance without any projection of likes and dislikes.

The Bhagavad Gita says that a wise person moves everywhere with love and affection. Like the wind blowing freely, he does not get attached to anything. He accepts all. Sometimes people behave nicely, sometimes they don’t. This neither elates nor depresses the wise person. “Such a man of wisdom lives with his senses under control, free from personal likes and dislikes, and therefore, enjoys every object, place, situation and person”.

Also, we find it difficult to live with people because we have too many expectations of them. If i expect something of another, that person may also expect something of me. Furthermore, i am unable to fulfil my own expectations of myself. I want to do so many things, but i am unable to do them. Thus, we feel disappointed and frustrated with ourselves, and aggrieved or upset with others when they fail to satisfy our expectations. I saw a sticker that said, “Don’t try to change me. Accept me as i am”.

It is important to understand the message clearly and completely. The message is that one should accept the fact as it is. Then if a change is necessary, try to make that change, but do not insist on it. Every parent wants the child to perform well and excel whether in sports or in studies.

There is nothing wrong with that. But, to expect something that may not be possible for the child to do, and unnecessarily apply pressure and force, will cause frustration to all.

When one is living with people it may not be possible to have no expectations at all, so one should have reasonable expectations. An artistically inclined child with no aptitude for commerce should not be forced into the family business. Expectations should be reasonable and based on knowledge and wisdom.

As far as nature or the moon is concerned, we do not feel a sense of ownership or possessiveness. But with regard to people this feeling is deepseated and can be very destructive. What we need to have is love and affection. Along with that there should be freedom and space, too.

Two hands joined together leave a gap and can be easily separated. Similarly, we should give space to people. Often we hear people say, “Give me some space please!” If you love a bird, will you cage it and expect it to be happy? It is not possible to love someone and also confine them in that love.

You Can Take Karma Into Your Hands

What is the law of karma?
It is the law of cause and effect. It is something like sowing of the seed. As you sow, so shall you reap. You cannot sow thorns and reap apples.
The law of karma is universal; it applies equally to all. Every thought, word, deed, emotion, feeling and wish are seeds we sow in the field of life, In due course, the seeds will germinate and grow into trees, and yield fruit — bitter or sweet — which we shall have to eat. No one else can do that for us. Krishna can drive the chariot of Arjun but Arjun him self has to aim the arrows in order to win the battle of Mahabharat.
There are causes that produce their effect immediately. There are other causes that produce their effect after a long time. If you overeat, it is a cause you have created. It produces an immediate effect — indigestion. There are other causes which take time to produce its effect, every seed must yield its fruit. This is the law of karma.
We are told, all men are created equal. No one can be so foolish as to imagine that there is actual equality of ability or environment or conditions of birth for all. Why, in the same family, do all children not have equality of ability or intelligence?
A Sindhi proverb says: “The mother gives birth to children; each brings with himself his destiny”. Each one brings his own karma. Among siblings, one might become a millionaire, while another struggles to make ends meet.
Two question arise: 1) Is this inequality the result of karma? 2) And if so, is it fair? The answer to both — as the sages of India have taught us — is in the affirmative. You are the architect of your own destiny. You are the builder of your own life. Every thought, emotion, wish and action creates karma: and we have been creating karma for thousands, perhaps millions of years.
If our thoughts, emotions and actions are benevolent, so-called good karma results. If they are malevolent, evil or difficult karma is created. The good or evil we generate attaches itself to us and remains in our life until we have neutralized it.
Why are our past karmas kept a secret from us?
Don’t you think it is a great mercy of God that our past karmic links are not known to us? Else, it may be difficult for us to live in the world.
How did bad/good karma originate?
Free will gives us the right of choice. We can choose between what the Upanishads call preya and shreya. Preya is the pleasant: the path of pleasure that lures us but leads to our degradation.
Shreya is the good: the path of shreya may, at first, be difficult to tread but ultimately leads to our well-being and spiritual evolution. At every step we have a choice. Many of us, alas, choose the easy path — the path of pleasure — and so keep on multiplying undesirable karma.
If all that happens today is the result of our past karma, is everything predestined?
No. John Oliver Hobbes said: “Men heap together mistakes of their lives and create a monster they call destiny”.
You are the builder of your fate. Therefore, be careful, especially of you thoughts. Every thought is a seed you are sowing in the field of life, and what you sow today, you will have to reap tomorrow.
Change your karma and you will change the conditions in which you live. And you can change your karma by adopting a new pattern of thinking.

If u find urself bored in the office.... here r some tips

1) .... Never sit idle in office!!! neva make that mistake!!!! should u find urself busy sitting idle, try digging ur nose..... digging ur nose is an art boss!!!! u can roll all ur capital income inside there without any specific rollers or caster !!! even better, try finding out if there exist any natural BY PASS route from one nostril to the other>?>>>>??? hwo knows u might win the PADMA VIBHUSHAN for DISCOVERING something really great.

2) Should ur boss always suspect u saying u give false exuces and that u are not loyal to him when it comes to quoting a tender... Ensure that u stick a board on ur desk sayin " I WORK HERE FOR MONEY, IF YOU WANT LOYALTY , HIRE A DOG"

3) Hmmmm!!!! My boss is always ahead of schedule, ppl.. always.. he is always 364 days 23 hrs and 59.05 minutes ahead of schedule.. always!!!!!!!!!!!!!! next time he hurries up with me, i am gonna reply sayin "has constipation made u walk on the time bomb sir??????"

4)Neva waste ur time listening to ur bosses in his cabin.... take pics of his bald head... Upload the same onto AUTOCAD, CATIA, PRO-E or Adobe, develop a 3-Dimensional view of the same and calculate the curved surface area and the total volume !!!! Don u stop there..... issue a painting scheme, float enquiries and order requisition of paints for polishing the ever polished round yet hugely magnanimous globular no crystalline ever shining BALD HEAD ..... no end no end buddies.... experiment this on many bosses found in yo firm and a deatiled study to be done based on comparison do u know wy??????? following conclusions can be arrived

- Which boss is cheaper?

- Who has the maximum inbuilt space that can house nothing but uslessly the EMPTINESS

- Which boss is his wife's PALTU KUTHA ??? baow baow baow!!!!

5) Once whilst havin a meetin with our consortium partners (all partners in crime , huh!!!) our boss was asked to calculate the CO evolution for the steel making process. now how would a boss remember his 12th standard molecular formulae??? will he??? how can he go forward without relying on his trusted Lieutenants SUBBBY AND DEEPU.... haa..... .. the best we could do.... perfect calculations... we calculated such a way and placed the papers in our boss's file that whilst explanation ,a boss kept sayin., "these calculations were done with in depth knowledge and intrusion of ma brain into the actual and probable analysis done, sir.... the CO evolution is blaa bla bla bla bla!!!! do""""""

What a round of applause.... the calculations revealed that Steel's melting point is just 1500 degrees,.but ma boss's calculations (actually ours) could generate so much heat that it could run a 20 MW thermal power station and give current to Two bombay cities.... brrrrrrrrrroooooooorrrrrrrrrr it was so nice seein ma boss getting screwed...no on what grounds will he eva even stare at us in front of anyone after he had claimed that those calculations were done by him????? haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

but Subbby , Deepu and Kiran were all ready with perfect errorless calculations to save our company's ass!!!!

6) Remove the connection of the printer and see if the printer still works... Should it not, reconnect it and see if ur connection works.. should it still not ensure u make a comment sayin, the virus ahs screwed even ma DOT MATRIX printer.

7) even worse, remove the compressor unit of ur age old AC's that work in ur office (preferably ur boss's cabins.. for more details pls contact KIRU on BL).. i am sure the AC's in ma office where designed, fabricated and Manufactured just 10 days before the Mahbharatha War started.. The Window ACs ryt now have taken the incarnation or rather the image of the SPLIT AC's .....

8) Avoid using Telephones or wireless modes of communication within office... Do not waste current at home charging ur mobiles either, instead u could use Match boxes and lil strings to get ur data transfered.

9) UNISTALL the Antivirus in ur bosses PC ... let the boss and his PC rest in peace!!!

10) Should u be fed up with ur boss and if he keeps callin u for the meeting again and again when any

vendor or party visits u.... nothing much, stick a board outside ur boss's cabin that read "BEWARE OF DOGS"

11) Try shifting the data from C drive to D drive and again D drive to C drive... find out which takes longer time?

12) Make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided and take a nap.

13) Should your boss ever demand that he wants the work to be done on totality.... u reply him sayin " sir we wish to see your HAIR on ur head to grow in totality too"

14) Should your boss take leave, form a agency and find out if his mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and if the boss has really gone to track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. .. I guess One day should do it. in short find out how many days he is gonna me off....

Eternal Search For That Which Is Unlimited

How can we get to know God? In order to be able to answer the question, we need to understand what knowledge consists of. What is knowledge? Knowing something through its relationship with something else is one kind of knowledge. We may not have directly seen or experienced the planet Pluto. But we know that Pluto is the outermost part of the solar system. We know about Pluto by virtue of its connections with the solar system.

When we chart the growth of human knowledge, we can see that, time and again, we have come to know the unknown by virtue of its relation with the known. Isaac Newton related the dropping of the apple on his head to the revolution of the planets around the sun. He thus enabled us to understand the hitherto inexplicable motion of the planets by relating it to the common sight of an apple dropping from a tree onto the ground.

We get to know about certain events and processes by figuring out that they are related to certain other events and processes that we already know about. Einstein was able to think forward from the facts that light consisted of particles and electricity was the flow of electrons and conjure the idea of creating a photovoltaic effect.

Another kind of knowing is knowing directly through perceiving, through experiencing. We know that a fire is raging by experiencing its blistering heat and raging flames. We know the gnawing pain of hunger by experiencing its pangs.

Each way of knowing has its limitations. You can get to know only a few things by directly experiencing them. You cannot get to know the the freezing cold of Pluto, at close quarters.

Similarly, there are severe limitations as to what we can get to know through analytical reasoning. French scientist Pierre Laplace had exultantly declared that if we can compile data about the position and the velocity of every subatomic particle in the universe at any point of time, we can tabulate and map the future course of the universe for all time to come.

Werner Heisenberg’s Uncertainty has very clearly showed us that both the position and the velocity of a subatomic particle can never be measured equally accurately. Physics cannot accurately map the path of an object that is freely falling under gravity, because a large number of factors can affect the descent of the object. And here we have 10 billion neurons in the human brain interacting with each other through 1,000 billion junctions or synapses.

Given the limitations of the ways in which our minds acquire knowledge, they are totally inadequate to register even the feeblest intimations of the divine. Adi Shankara in his commentary on the Brahmnsutras says that the divine, “being beyond names and forms, is not an object of sense perception, and being without any indicatory mark, it cannot be known by mere inference either”. It cannot be known or perceived directly through our sense organs; and it cannot be known about through relationships. Only by becoming deeply aware of yourself can you sense its subliminal stirrings.

In that process of sensitization you gradually discard all the baggage of information and knowledge from your mind. You strip off everything that strengthens your sense of self through possession. You are then experiencing without there being any object of experience. You exist then as the pure and abiding consciousness manifesting as this universe.

Theist or Atheist

Theist... Now this is something very interesting.. Idea of god has always fascinated me.. Is God nothing but an idea??... a bank, from where you can ask anything you want without any warranty... a safe vault where you can confess your deeds... and a ready reason (conviction to be precise) for anything that you couldn't achieve in your life..

Being religious dangerously suppresses your Karma... you are tempted to believe that everything that is happening is because of will of God and thus, you don't give your full effort to the wish you want to see completed.. "Iswar ne gamyu te kharu" or "the Almighty's will".. this is the most cowardice (and with full of paradox) statement of human kind ever since the idea of God has been generated..

On one hand, we say God never does anything bad or wrong with his followers.. Ironically, his followers suffer the most.. but they never question their selves that if He does everything good to the people, then why there prevails so much chaos in the world and in the life of an individual.. Actually, if there is any such thing as God, then he supports only selected people.. These so called "Blessed" people build temples, mosques, churches, gurudwaras and what not.. while other suffering people visit those religious places and worship their Gods, ask Gods to bless them whom He never going to favour.. Don't agree with me?? Just look around you, you will definitely find it... But try to see open minded and not open hearted..

The biggest impact of the idea of God on the society is FEAR... yes, fear.. Fear of society is the base of morality, fear of being betrayed is the base of honesty, the same way fear of God is the base of religion.. If there hadn't been such so called fears, the history of man kind would have been totally different.. This is a naked truth, whether you accept it or not..

Atheist... they hold more responsibility on their shoulders then the theists do.. because they have nothing but their deeds in their sack.. what ever the result they get is merely a reflection of their own deeds.. they neither blame Gods for miserable results, nor they thank God for their achievements.. Success or Failure whatever is their own creation..

They, not being religious doesn't mean they are immoral.. Just look around you and you will find many so called religious people are highly immoral with their deeds.. Atheist may be a spiritual though he is not worshiping God, while theist is most of the time only religious and never a spiritual human.. Being spiritual is better than being religious.. Atheism atleast saves you from being cowardice and makes you conscious every second for your deeds.. For atheists there is no Gunga to wipe their sins..

Theist or Atheist, whatever... the race is to find out the truth.. yes the ultimate truth.. Tears and Blood both speaks the same language, however the accent is different.. God is the language of tears while existence is the language of blood... Both have their own faith and superstitions... the question is which way you want to go... and you find the answer only when you question your FAITH...

Knowledge Is A Barrier, It Inhibits Creativity

Why can’t i see any meaning in life?
Life in itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create a meaning. You will find meaning only if you create it. It is a poem to be composed, it is a song to be sung, it is a dance to be danced.

Buddha finds meaning because he creates it. I found it because i created it. God is not a thing but a creation. And only those who create find. And it is good that meaning is not lying somewhere there, otherwise one person would have discovered it — then what would be the need for everybody else to discover it?

Albert Einstein discovered the theory of relativity; now, do you have to discover it again and again? One man has done it; he has given you the map. It may have taken years for him, but for you to understand it will take hours.

Buddha also discovered something, Zarathustra also discovered something, but it is not like Einstein’s discovery. It is not there that you have just to follow Zarathustra and his map and you will find it. You will never find it. You will have to become a Zarathustra.

Each individual has to give birth to God, to meaning, to truth; each man has to become pregnant with it and pass through the pains of birth. Each one has to carry it in one’s womb, feed it by one’s own blood, and only then does one discover.

You don’t expect a religious person to be creative. You just expect him to fast, sit in a cave, get up early in the morning, chant mantras. And you are perfectly satisfied! Praise a man because he has created a song, a beautiful sculpture. Praise a man because he plays such a beautiful flute. Let these be religious qualities from now onwards. Praise a man because he is such a lover — love is religion. Because of him the world is becoming more graceful.

The inquiry has to be pure, without any conclusion. If you are looking for a certain meaning, you will not find it — because from the very beginning your inquiry is polluted, it is impure. You have already decided.

For example, if a man comes into my garden and thinks he can find a diamond there then to him this garden is beautiful. He cannot find the diamond, so he says there is no meaning in the garden... And there are so many beautiful flowers, and so many birds singing, and so many colours, and the wind blowing through the pines, and the moss on the rocks. But he cannot see any meaning because he has a certain idea: he has to find the diamond, only then there will be a meaning.

He is missing meaning because of his idea. Let your inquiry be pure. Don’t move with any fixed idea. Go naked. Go open and empty. And you will find not only one meaning — you will find a thousand and one meanings. Then each thing will become meaningful. Just a coloured stone shining in the rays of the sun... or a dewdrop creating a small rainbow around itself... or just a small flower dancing in the wind... What meaning are you searching for?

Go without a conclusion! That’s what i mean when i say go without knowledge if you want to find the truth. The knowledgeable person never finds it. His knowledge is a barrier. Drop the knowledge and become more creative. Remember, knowledge is gathered — you need not be creative about it; you have only to be receptive. And that’s what man has become: man is reduced to being a spectator.

Sex with Life

Life.... it teaches me lesson in her own ridiculous way, and i don't learn at all in my very own ridiculous way

our confrontation is carrying on since my birth (literally from my birth, believe me) .. i try to bend her on my side and she tries to bend me on my knees on her side.. finally the symphony breaks and I fall on the ground zero...

no one can hit you as hard as life and this battle ends with your breath.. but i still refuses to learn anything and commit the same mistake again and again (only if its considered as mistake, not for me).. then i suffer for what the gods have destined for me, suffer terribly (ummm.. wild, i guess)

i read somewhere long back that, when you think that you have figured out everything and relaxed, this is the time when life screws you... life enjoys to screw me (i tell u life is a sadistic thing) and i get pleasure from pain (again in my own ridiculous way).. initially i was scared of pain.. but when pain exceeds some limits, u feel nothing at all...

enjoying pleasure from pain is like having a sex with wild girl friend.. its really really a wild experience.. you may not like it for first couple of time but as time passes u start enjoying this situation... yes, life is my girl friend.. she enjoys me while having sex and eventually i have learned to enjoy as well.. our sex-life is so good that anyone can envy upon..

i mean just think, she grabs me to some lonely corner, which i had never demanded for.. she ties me with some pleasant circumstances... she takes my clothes of intellect and understanding off.. throws me in the bed of dreams.. rolls on my body all over, kisses my child-like curious lips with her lips of hope... suddenly she bites me on my chest of love with her poisonous teeth of amity... and THEN one fine moment i realize that we were not enjoying sex and she was just fucking me...

AND here lies the reason why i don't learn anything.. because i have not accepted the things as they are but i have learned enjoying the situation..