Friday, May 14, 2010

Advice to girls on marrying a cricketeer!

Come all ye fair young maidens,
And hearken unto me -
Never trust a cricketer,
Who ever he may be !

Randier than a sailor,
Who's been six months at sea -
Never let a cricketer's hand,
An inch above your knee !

First, let's take the paceman,
Pure speed, from first to last -
Darlings do be careful,
His balls are hard and fast !

Then there's the medium pacer,
His balls swing either way -
He's really the most persistent,
And can keep it up, all day !

And watch for the off-spinner,
Another awkward chap -
If you leave him half an opening,
He will slip one, through the gap !

Then there's the wily ' slowy ',
Pure cunning, is his strength -
He'll tempt you, then he'll trap you,
With his very subtle length !

So ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree,
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be -
And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease,
He has only one ambition, to spend all day at your crease !

The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes,
When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes -
And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two,
When he arrives at your crease, then only a six will do !

Then there's the real stonewaller, he knows what he's about,
And if you let him settle in, it's hard to get him out -
We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock,
He doesn't mind if he's last man in, as long a he gets a knock !

So darlings, do be careful and be well warned by me,
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be -
And watch the wicketkeeper, he's full of flair and dash,
And if you raise your leg, he'll whip it off in a flash !

If you take the field with the captain, you'd better know the score,
Or he'll have you in positions, that you never knew before -
The cricket commentator is a nasty sort of bloke,
He watches all the action and describes it, stroke by stroke !

Even the kindly umpire, who looks friendly as a pup,
You'll quickly find you've had it, when he puts his finger up -
So, darlings, please remember and repeat it after me,
Never trust a cricketeer, who ever he may be !

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