Friday, April 29, 2011

A Brilliant Interview : Must Read for Every Employer & Employee..

Some, rather most organizations reject his CV today because he has changed jobs frequently (10 in 14 years). My friend, the ˜job hopper™ (referred here as Mr. JH), does not mind it. well he does not need to mind it at all. Having worked full-time with 10 employer companies in just 14 years gives Mr. JH the relaxing edge that most of the ˜company loyal™ employees are struggling for today. Today, Mr. JH too is laid off like some other 14-15 year experienced guys “ the difference being the latter have just worked in 2-3 organizations in the same number of years. Here are the excerpts of an interview with Mr. JH:

Q: Why have you changed 10 jobs in 14 years?

A: To get financially sound and stable before getting laid off the second time.

Q: So you knew you would be laid off in the year 2009?

A: Well I was laid off first in the year 2002 due to the first global economic slowdown. I had not got a full-time job before January 2003 when the economy started looking up; so I had struggled for almost a year without job and with compromises.

Q: Which number of job was that?
A: That was my third job.

Q: So from Jan 2003 to Jan 2009, in 6 years, you have changed 8 jobs to make the count as 10 jobs in 14 years?

A: I had no other option. In my first 8 years of professional life, I had worked only for 2 organizations thinking that jobs are deserved after lot of hard work and one should stay with an employer company to justify the saying ˜employer loyalty™. But I was an idiot.

Q: Why do you say so?

A: My salary in the first 8 years went up only marginally. I could not save enough and also, I had thought that I had a ˜permanent™ job, so I need not worry about ˜what will I do if I lose my job™. I could never imagine losing a job because of economic slowdown and not because of my performance. That was January 2002.

Q: Can you brief on what happened between January 2003 and 2009.

A: Well, I had learnt my lessons of being ˜company loyal™ and not ˜money earning and saving loyal™. But then you can save enough only when you earn enough. So I shifted my loyalty towards money making and saving “ I changed 8 jobs in 6 years assuring all my interviewers about my stability.

Q: So you lied to your interviewers; you had already planned to change the job for which you were being interviewed on a particular day?

A: Yes, you can change jobs only when the market is up and companies are hiring. You tell me “ can I get a job now because of the slowdown? No. So one should change jobs for higher salaries only when the market is up because that is the only time when companies hire and can afford the expected salaries.

Q: What have you gained by doing such things?

A: That's the question I was waiting for. In Jan 2003, I had a fixed salary (without variables) of say Rs. X p.a. In January 2009, my salary was 8X. So assuming my salary was Rs.3 lakh p.a. in Jan 2003, my last drawn salary in Jan 2009 was Rs.24 lakh p.a. (without variable). I never bothered about variable as I had no intention to stay for 1 year and go through the appraisal process to wait for the company to give me a hike.

Q: So you decided on your own hike?

A: Yes, in 2003, I could see the slowdown coming again in future like it had happened in 2001-02. Though I was not sure by when the next slowdown would come, I was pretty sure I wanted a ˜debt-free™ life before being laid off again. So I planned my hike targets on a yearly basis without waiting for the year to complete.

Q: So are you debt-free now?

A: Yes, I earned so much by virtue of job changes for money and spent so little that today I have a loan free 2 BR flat (1200 sq.. feet) plus a loan free big car without bothering about any EMIs. I am laid off too but I do not complain at all. If I have laid off companies for money, it is OK if a company lays me off because of lack of money.

Q: Who is complaining?

A: All those guys who are not getting a job to pay their EMIs off are complaining. They had made fun of me saying I am a job hopper and do not have any company loyalty. Now I ask them what they gained by their company loyalty; they too are laid off like me and pass comments to me “ why will you bother about us, you are already debt-free. They were still in the bracket of 12-14 lakh p.a. when they were laid off.

Q: What is your advice to professionals?

A: Like Narayan Murthy had said “ love your job and not your company because you never know when your company will stop loving you. In the same lines, love yourself and your family needs more than the company's needs. Companies can keep coming and going; family will always remain the same. Make money for yourself first and simultaneously make money for the company, not the other way around.

Q: What is your biggest pain point with companies?

A: When a company does well, its CEO will address the entire company saying, ˜well done guys, it is YOUR company, keep up the hard work, I am with you. But when the slowdown happens and the company does not do so well, the same CEO will say, œIt is MY company and to save the company, I have to take tough decisions including asking people to go. So think about your financial stability first; when you get laid off, your kids will complain to you and not your boss.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Children Are Quick..!!

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this child)

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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I"

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am"

MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.... Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....

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TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Finally.. The Dream Has Come True..!!

Twenty eight. The number of years that have passed since India last won a World Cup. That miracle at Lord’s. Against the greatest side. 183. The impossible defense. Sandhu’s banana ball. His hop after. Kapil’s catch. Madan Lal’s fist pumping the air. Mohinder’s legcutters. Holding’s wicket. Climax.

Twenty eight. Almost half a lifetime. Seven World Cups. Many prime ministers. An economic upheaval. From one television channel to a zillion. In 1983, my dad had to wait eight months before he could own a land line phone. Apparently he was luckier than many.

From Kapil to Gavaskar to Vengsarkar to Srikkanth to Azhar to Sachin to Ganguly to Dravid to Dhoni. Phew! At last. From Srikkanth ecstatically puffing on a cigarette in the Lord’s balcony to Yuvraj Singh sobbing emotionally at the Wankhede.

Twenty eight. The average age of this World Cup winning Indian team. Munaf is 27; Yusuf and Sreesanth are 28; Dhoni, Gambhir and Yuvraj are 29; Harbhajan is 30; Nehra is 31; Sehwag and Zaheer are 32. At the near end of the spectrum are Kohli (22), Chawla (22), Raina (24) and Ashwin (24). At the far, unreachable end is Tendulkar (37).

Among these, only Tendulkar lived the moment in ’83. Only he experienced the miracle. Among this group, only he understands the real significance of that day, the way things were and they way things changed. Only he felt the zeitgeist.

The rest were too young. The memories from that World Cup, if at all there were any, would have been hazy. I’m guessing everything they knew was from hearsay, highlights packages, interviews and anecdotes.

It’s fascinating how the cricket lives of most in this team run parallel with Tendulkar’s international career. Ten members of this squad, and most of them forming the core, are between 27 and 32. Many of them were drawn to cricket because of Tendulkar and many have talked about idolizing him in their impressionable years.

Many tried to bat like him before getting more realistic. A few initially picked up heavy bats – the kind that he uses – before exchanging them for lighter ones.

Dhoni once said most of the cricket he watched as a kid was restricted to Tendulkar’s batting. He also said how he stopped watching the ’03 final the moment Tendulkar was out. [To understand the man's leadership read this interview from 2008]

Having lifted Tendulkar on his shoulders, parading around the stadium, Virat Kohli pretty much spoke for the whole country with his poignant line: “Sachin carried the burden of a nation for 21 years so he deserves it.”

Someday Kohli may go on to lead India. He may even win a World Cup. But I’ll always remember him for this line. Always. That was how apt it was.

Twenty eight. That’s pretty much how old my generation is. I’m 29 and most of my friends are between 26 and 30. We’ve followed poor teams and good teams; seen players with ‘potential’ fall flat on their face; seen domestic giants being exposed at the higher level. We’ve spent years hearing about our mediocre cricketing system, our dangerously scruffy outfields, our medieval coaching systems.

We’ve gone mental watching games, only to realise that some players sold those games for several million bucks. We’ve seen teams collapse too often, teams that choked at the first sign of pressure, teams that couldn’t win big games, teams that crumbled while chasing, teams that froze while batting under lights. We’ve seen Kambli cry.

Like many in the team, we’ve all grown up watching Tendulkar. We too have idolized him, tried to bat like him with heavy bats. We’ve been nervous wrecks when he’s at the crease and often flown off sofa sets watching some of his straight drives. I almost flew off again when he drove Kulasekera today, that majestic, pristine push down he ground. The bat so straight, so still.

For several years, we switched off our TV sets the moment he got out. The result was a no-brainer. The collapse was inevitable. The rest would simply cave in.

Not today. Not a chance in hell. Not with this team. Not with Gambhir, Kohli and Raina. Never with Yuvraj and Dhoni. Sure we were jittery at 31 for 2 but it was just a matter of one good partnership. This team was mentally strong enough. They too have been scarred by collapse after collapse. They too know how much it hurts if they meekly surrender.

Gambhir and Kohli steadied the nerves before Dhoni imprinted his signature on the World Cup. He promoted himself ahead of Yuvraj and backed himself to prove a point. Not to the fans or the media but to himself. It was high time. The moment was here to be seized. Greatness was knocking. He had to blast the door open.

And what an innings it was. Cutting ferociously, bat meeting ball with an ominously crunching sound, the hands twirling the bat around, the slightly exaggerated backlift, the thunderous power.

And that six to finish, probably the most emphatic full stop you will see in cricket. The beautiful arc of the bat, the sensational timing, the elevation, the sheer shock of the instantaneousness, the most awesome orgasm.

The replays were even more stunning: the intense concentration, the absolute brutality of the focus, refusing to take their eyes off the ball, the bat unrelenting in its completion of the follow through. And that joyous twirl that followed, as if he had just finished a game in a park.

For some strange reason it reminded me of Kapil third six at Lord’s in 1990 – when he was batting with No.11 and struck four sixes to save the follow on. It was the third six in a row, was struck powerfully, described a glorious arc and soared over long-on . And it was executed with the joie de vivre of a little boy in a backyard.

The baton passes. And how!